The first weeks after the diagnosis
You do not have to do anything today. And if you do want to start, it helps to take small steps in a sensible order.
Right after the diagnosis everything often arrives at once: relief that there is finally an explanation. Grief for ideas you have to let go of. Fear of the future. And the question of what you are actually supposed to do now.
The short answer: nothing today. There is no deadline expiring tomorrow, and no harm comes from taking two weeks for yourself.
The longer answer: if you would like to begin, an order helps. Not because there is any urgency, but because some steps make others easier.
Four steps that make the others easier
In this order, each whenever you have the energy for it.
Arriving
All feelings are allowed — including contradictory ones. There is no “right” way to feel after a diagnosis, and nobody has to function straight away.
Deciding who learns of it
The diagnosis is private information belonging to your child. You decide who knows it — and you can always widen the circle. The other way round is harder.
Starting the first applications
Care level, disability card, integration assistance. Processing takes time; starting early does not mean you have to complete everything at once.
Informing daycare or school
Openness usually pays off — it enables compensations for disadvantage and turns conflict into cooperation. How much you tell remains your decision.
Read on in the Mika Guide
The module “The First 100 Days” accompanies you for twelve weeks — one topic per week, one small action, never more at a time.
Week 0 — Arriving
All feelings are allowed, and nothing has to be decided today.
Who needs to know?
The diagnosis is private information — you decide on every disclosure.
The conversation with relatives
“He’ll grow out of it” — how to talk to grandparents and friends.
First applications
Care level, card, integration assistance: what makes sense when.
The strengths lens
An eye for detail, honesty, deep interest — learning to see your child anew.
Your own grief and guilt
Grief is not a betrayal of your child, and guilt has no place here.
The app is free; the first section of this module is free to read, the deeper content belongs to Mika+ (one-time €19.99, £19.99 in the UK).
What really is not urgent now
You do not have to choose a form of therapy, settle on a type of school or revise your life plan. These questions will come — but they will all still be there later.
What counts now: that your child has you, and that you catch your breath. Everything else unfolds at a pace that suits your family.
Note on the legal information
This information has been compiled to the best of my knowledge, but it is not legal advice — laws, amounts and procedures change, and every case is different. What is binding is the applicable law and the decision of the responsible authority; I cannot accept liability. For important decisions, the free independent participation counseling (EUTB) or a social welfare association can help.
Would you like to talk about it?
If you are at the beginning of this path and simply need someone who knows the situation: the first conversation is free and without obligation.